You see most of us were raised to believe that we are super-duper special and that we can become whatever our little heart’s desire. To this, I say, “HA! What a crock!” It’s just not true. I’m not saying this to be mean or because I’m a pessimist, it’s just a statistical fact. If it were true, we’d all be billionaires living in mansions, married to super models and driving exotic cars. So what does this mean? Do we just throw away our dreams and stop trying? Not exactly, and before I share some suggestions about what we should do, let me first outline what this present path will definitely yield without a little course correction.
First, let’s see why we believe and inevitably try to live our lives according to this inflated and hyped standard. We come from a generation where competition was squashed and everyone was told they were a winner, regardless of the effort they applied. Merit was given where it was not earned so as not to hurt anyone’s feelings. In an effort to safeguard our perceived vulnerable sensibilities, we sent a generation of young people into adulthood unprepared to face the harsh realities of life. This generation polished their image on social media for all too see while they sat at home, alone and friendless. The only thing they knew was that as long as you looked good, you were good. However, they only felt good when others “liked” or cheered them on. In the absence of this praise, no one knew how to function.
When they got jobs, they perceived that the same half-hearted effort they applied as children would yield the same praise. Sorry, Charley, no one congratulates you for doing the job you were hired to do, that’s called a paycheck. When you are taught that competition is bad, difficulties, learning curves and constructive criticism is inferred as a personal attack, instead of an opportunity to stretch and grow.
We were told that our potential is limitless and our opportunities are endless. Reality dictates that we excel in the areas to which we are most inclined. Most of the time the job we secure isn’t necessarily the one we want, it’s the one available at the time we applied. We are taught that desire is our only limiting factor. In truth, our potential is most often explored when we take advantage of the opportunities around us. Opportunities are dictated by the availability of options within your market, which varies depending on location and economic climate. What does this mean? It means that there are walls all around us, limiting our options, without any ill intent. This is not personal. It is reality.
Well, shucks! How then am I to escape the gravity of this world and soar high to achieve my dreams? Adjust your dreams. But they are my dreams (we scream inside)! Are they really your dreams, or just a lot of nonsense you were told to pursue after so you could feel good about yourself? There are a million ways to feel good about yourself that have nothing to do with you achieving your dreams. Your dreams may be the very thing that is causing you so much heartache and disappointment.
In the Bible, the book of Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” Hoping for what we cannot attain creates anxiety and leaves us with regret. However, fulfilling a simple desire (an achievable goal) is life’s true wisdom. Dreaming is great, but by definition is not real life (it’s a dream, an imagined non-reality). Dream all you want, just make the steps of your life concrete.
Set realistic, measurable and attainable goals. In so doing, every time you meet or surpass a goal, it fuels you to set bigger and higher targets (dare I say, even dreamlike plans). The highest skyscraper ever built was first secured deep in the ground. The same holds true for us, we first must be grounded in reality before we can even measure our actual potential. Only when we know our potential can we begin to push beyond it.
Set realistic, measurable and attainable goals. In so doing, every time you meet or surpass a goal, it fuels you to set bigger and higher targets (dare I say, even dreamlike plans). The highest skyscraper ever built was first secured deep in the ground. The same holds true for us, we first must be grounded in reality before we can even measure our actual potential. Only when we know our potential can we begin to push beyond it.
